Thursday, March 25, 2010

Thoughts While Shaving: The Hungry Five…Biden Does One Dumb Quayle Thing a Week…The Sun-Times’ Column’ing Thug.

       Feasts of the Annunciation and St. Dismas*
                               The Hungry Five.
          How are the hungry five doing…swing district Dem incumbents in Obama’s state who voted for Obamacare… since the African-born mixed-blood Prince delivered us to European-style health care? Poll taken by “We Ask America.”   This is important since normally the Dems should be significantly ahead—but they’re not.  
            8th district:             Bean [D]  38     Walsh [R] 38.
           10th district:             Seals [D] 40     Dold [R]  37.
           11th district:     Halvorsen [D] 30     Kinzinger [R] 42
           14th district            Foster [D] 36      Hulgtren [R]  38
           17th district             Hare  [D] 39      Schilling  [R]   32
          Gee, that hope ‘n change’s really something. 

                               Biden Out-Does Quayle 10 to 1.
          Of course you can’t expect the mainstream media to zing Joe Biden for his unutterably dumb remarks which are now happening about once-a-week.  That’s because there are two media standards—one for dumb conservatives who immediately draw insults Jon Stewart, Jay Leno and Dave Letterman… and one for dumb liberals which go uncommented upon.  The liberal standard: Dumb liberal vice presidents like Biden  commit merely innocent gaffes that all of us can. Dumb conservative vice presidents like Quayle are threats to the republic because if they succeeded to the presidency, God knows what would happen. 
          Joe Biden however has broken into the Guinness Book of World Records for saying thoughtless, air-head, abysmally stupid things on the average of one a week.  The last was when Obama was on hand to sign the health care bill.  Biden forgot the microphone was on and grappled the president in one of his man-hugs and said “this is a big [obscene expletive deleted] deal!” on March 25 before the media and a big signing crowd. Hahahahahahahaha.  
           Laugh: but why would anyone with a clear mind even think of blurting the four-letter word describing sexual intercourse at a time like that?  Answer: Joe Biden trying to be one of the macho gaffawing big boys would.  He loves the “f” word because using it makes him feel manly.  “An hour late?  Give me a [obscene explective deleted] break” he said to a live microphone at Union Station on March 13, 2009.  
          Take a look at the record of this chortling, un-self-controlled idiosyncratic bloviating buffoon who is next in line for the presidency and you’ll soon discover there’s nothing there to laugh at whatsoever.  He’s not just a chronic exaggerator but a pathological liar (the mystery being he never imagines he can get caught)--one who claimed to have heard Franklin Roosevelt on TV calming the country after the Crash of `29…one who challenged a heckler in a crowd to compare IQs with him (the heckler would probably walk away with full honors)… 
           …one who appropriated Neal Kinnock’s bio without credit including telling a rapt crowd  the fable that he Biden worked in a coal mine (Kinnock mined in Wales, Biden bragging that his experience with mines was in Pennsylvania)  and was the first one in his family to go to college (untrue)…who bragged to a crowd that he was tops in his undergrad and law school when on the latter he had to take his exam over again because he was caught cheating.  
            The media think he’s charming. As the airhead book editor of  the Christian Science Monitor (which I’m not sure anybody reads these days) Marjorie Kehe, wrote “which autobiography would you rather read—Joe Biden’s Promises to Keep or Sarah Palin’s Going Rogue?”  Hahahahaha. See: that’s what I mean.   Liberals who make gaffes are fun; conservatives who do the same are threats to the world. 
          Well laugh all you want at your good-natured goofball veep, liberals—but remember: this guy was operated on for two…not just one…aneurisms of the brain—the first to correct an intra-cranium and berry aneurism in February, 1988 and the second to correct a recurrence in May of the same year.  Good old liberal joe-what-a-character hahahahahasha.  
                                 Old Steinberg. 
           Why should anyone care what an AARP-joining, self-publicized confessed wife-beater who spent a night in jail, flunked out of Highland Park Hospital rehab and then wrote a book about it entitled aptly Drunkard think about anything? Well the local tabloid Pravda does…and since it has no soul,  in place of analysis it  carries Neil Steinberg’s snarling snark four days each week giving him a full page each time for vapid thoughts of this Ohio-imported I-hate-all-conservatives wise guy hit man.  
          Of course he siphons up the leak first trickled by The Squid’s personal p. r. cosmetician, lefty Lynn Sweet who said that since Dan Lipinski is afflicted with severe diabetes he should be ashamed of voting against the African-born Prince’s plan to put a sixth of the economy in irons. Figure that out. 
      I guess the point must be that Lipinski’s House medical coverage covers it whereas he would have to pay extra in private life.  Devastating argument, Lynn—right from  Axelrod’s distilled urine reservoir which sprays on anybody who has the resolve to stand up to the Prince. Right on cue came the yap-yap-yap of The Squid’s gossip Sneed… and now, appropriately bringing up the rear comes Drunkard. Of course the real reason is Lipinski is pro-life which to Drunkard, Axelrod, Sneed and Sweet is anathema.  
          *The Annunciation of Our Lord to the Blessed Virgin Mary…and St. Dismas.  Of the Annunciation we wrote yesterday concerning the Archangel Gabriel.  It takes its name from the great tidings announced by Gabriel to Mary concerning the incarnation of the Son of God…setting forth the divine purpose to give the world a Savior, to the sinner a victim of propitiation, to the righteous a model and to the Son of God a new human nature willing to suffer pain and death to satisfy God’s justice for our sins. But let the balance of this piece concern Dismas, the Good Thief who is not only a saint but the only human ever to hear from the lips of Christ Himself that “this day thou shalt be with me in Paradise.” Imagine: no one else in human history…Mary Herself, Peter, Paul—anyone—had heard this from the lips of the Master.  
          And to hear those glorious words, Dismas, who probably led a life of skullduggery worse than many of us have, had only to utter these words: “Lord, remember me when thou shalt come into thy kingdom.”  The late great Chicago Daily News journalist Dempster McMurphy wrote of Dismas that he exists as a divine baseball outfielder…far-far in the distance…snagging the foul balls that zoom out of the park and head his way.  As one who could well fall into this category, I say “St. Dismas, remember me when I come sailing over your head heading for God knows where…snag me into your glove as the Great Outfielder you are, returning me to the divine Catcher at home base in your kingdom.”

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