Friday, December 4, 2009

Personal Asides: Lucky Sperm Club—Lipinski, Stevenson, Giannoulias--but How to Categorize Lisa Madigan?…Matt Lauer: NBC’s Liberal Bubble-Head…Fr. Ernie Returns, Talks Forgiveness for Poor Tiger.


More Lucky Sperm Contestants.

My email was filled to overflowing with Lucky Sperm suggestions…all of which I knew earlier but in the wee hours of the dawn had neglected to post. Start off with U. S. Rep. Dan Lipinski (D) whose path for the 3rd district Dem nomination was cleared by his Dad, retiring Congressman Bill. Full disclosure: Because I agree with both men on social policy, I gave to both…and last year gave to Dan when he had a primary opponent from the Left.

Then there’s the Stevensons. The lineage all began with a close relative, Jesse Fell who was Lincoln’s presidential campaign manager. Then it devolved to Adlai the First who was Grover Cleveland’s vice president and who ran (unsuccessfully) for the same post with William Jennings Bryan. His son, Lewis Stevenson, was Illinois secretary of state but was appointed to the post in an interim and never was elected to any post although there was a brief boomlet for him for vice president. Adlai II, of course, was eloquent and witty, a prototype of the classiness that was manufactured for the Kennedys…but Adlai II had it without hiring a speech-writer or image consultant.

This crested with Adlai III who was state treasurer and U. S. Senator. He retired as senator to run against Big Jim Thompson (I voted for Adlai III in that race and never, ever regretted it since Stevenson was the more conservative fiscally. He came within 5,000 votes of defeating Thompson—and a recount would possibly have upset Big Jimbo but before it could be undertaken, the state Supreme Court had to approve it. It denied the recount by one vote—that of Seymour Simon. Later Thompson hired Simon’s son. Whatd’ye think of that?

Alexi Giannoulias qualifies. His father founded Broadway Bank which is in some trouble now due to its liberal loan policies…and Giannoulias survived a very-very gentle media questioning about his granting loans to a bordello-owner and a mobster to become state treasurer. Now he’s running for the Democratic nomination to the Senate. Chicago media was…maybe still is… notoriously soft on liberals with favored connections to Barack Obama. I don’t think that will continue. Read Mike Dumke’s excellent disquisition on him in The Chicago Reader this week.

One good question involves Lisa Madigan, former state senator, now AG and a formidable prospect for future governor of Illinois…or any post she wants, actually. Normally she’d be a charter member of The Lucky Sperm Club since Mike Madigan is almost as powerful…as Speaker, state Democratic chairman…as Richard Daley. But there’s a biological hitch. She was born Lisa Murray and is Mike’s step-daughter so the biological connection is not there—although God knows Mike Madigan is a loving, exceedingly solicitous daddy with supreme interest in her political career despite not qualifying as biological father—hence her eligibility in the Lucky Sperm Club is challengeable. On the other hand, her Mama, Shirley, married to Mike, is Lisa’s natural mother. Should Lisa be included or not? I’ll let you decide. Write me at

Where in the World was Matt Lauer?

As everyone knows, broadcast TV belongs to liberaldom and especially NBC since it’s owned by GE which has benefited hugely from the stimulus and other favors via Obama. The other morning the famous uninvited couple that crashed Obama’s state dinner guested on “Today” and was thrilled to be interviewed by Matt Lauer who frankly looks like the guy who comes onstage in the 2nd act and proclaims “Tennis anyone?” Lauer interviewed them, pelting them with softballs but somehow…somehow…failed to acknowledge that GE also owns Bravo, the cable network for which they are striving to star on a reality show.

I’ve Called for Fr. Ernie on the Tiger Case.

Do you agree with me that media have wrung all the salacious droplets out of the Tiger Woods story and should drop it? I mean, in the beginning it was news but for media to run over and interview the golf pro who introduced Tiger to his future wife…and play him puffing up with unimagined self-rectitude, saying he regrets that he did it…is salacious, offensive and rotten.

Painfully writhing while media do its dirtiest work on Tiger, I used my special privilege and called up Fr. Ernie (Rev. Ernest Kilzer, OSB) from the abbey graveyard at Saint John’s Benedictine monastery where I went to school. This is what he said:

Good morning, Mr. Roeser. Christ, throughout His life, made a special point of insisting that the mercy of God is generously dispensed on all sinners. Moreover, He said that publicans and prostitutes will be rewarded by berths in the kingdom of God before high priests and elders of the people. After viewing some of the lascivious coverage on your television…and particularly after hearing the scurrilously self-righteous statement of one Jasper Parnevik on the Golf Channel…say that he is sorry that—get this—“me and my wife introduced Tiger to her.” Me and my wife: a sample of not just bad grammar but outrageous pomposity.

Three extensive parables tell of Christ’s and His Father’s joy in heaven over one sinner repenting than the 99 so-called “just” who feel they have no need of repentance…what are the parables, Mr. Roeser? You say—what? You say you can’t enumerate them? You, 81 years old, who have been in my class when we talked about this in 1946 and confess you are stumped? Now you say—what? Aha, you have thought of only one! The Prodigal Son. But you have missed…utterly forgotten…the other two? Take up your fountain pen, Mr. Roeser and write them down as I give them to you…and the rest of the class who may be as stunted as Mr. Roeser should take them down as well.

Listen to me! They are (1) the parable of the lost sheep. (2) The parable of the lost drachma. (3) The parable of the Prodigal Son.

All three illustrate what Mr. Roeser has neglected to fully remember: that He came into the world to verify His very name of Jesus: Savior from sin. Therefore let no one…not the illiterate Mr. Parnevik or anyone else—especially not you…vilify Tiger Woods. He has said he is sorry. Would that he were Catholic so as to confess his sins to a confessor, express due contrition, receive his penance and gain absolution.

Good grief, he didn’t kill anybody, did he? Get over it! Those who rake Tiger Woods over the coals do so at great cost to their own souls. They do it so that they can seem righteous in comparison. In departing, I shall leave with you the lesson of Matthew 7:3-5 spoken by Christ Himself:

“Why do you observe the splinter in your brother’s eye and never notice the plank in your own? How dare you say to your brother, `Let me take the splinter out of your eye’ when all the time there is a plank in your own? Hypocrite! Take the plank out of your own eye first and then you will see clearly enough to take the splinter out of your brother’s eye!”

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