Thursday, May 7, 2009

Personal Aside: Specter Listens to Biden, Goes to the Bordello and Comes Out a Loser.


There are few stories more uproarious than the one about the patron of a bordello who, intent on family betrayal, has his wallet filched, having been outwitted by the girls he had hoped to exploit behind the red velvet drapes. But even more pathetic is that he listened to somebody with the acumen of Joe Biden.

Ah but that’s the story of Arlen Specter. But there is more to it than the patron being outwitted. Specter has himself to blame because he listened to goofy Biden…as dumb as he is expansive…who took him up to the mountain and showed him a world he could gain by switching, Specter finding out too late that Biden was a jerk who was talking through his hat.

But you won’t learn of this from the zombie media which have thrilled to Specter’s decision that he would “out of conscience” move to the Democratic party—triggering a spate of stories saying aw, how awful it is that that hidebound old GOP has no room for good old Arlen…and how wonderful it is that he has finally come to his senses and joined the party of Barack Obama.

The real story, of course, is that the screwing Specter got wasn’t worth the lascivious pleasurable screwing he had anticipated. Here is a rudderless opportunist: having earlier welcomed support from Ronald Reagan and George W. Bush when it was convenient who, once learning he could not survive the Republican primary against conservative Pat Toomey because Specter was only one of two GOPers who voted for Obama’s TARP, turned tail and negotiated for a party switch to the Democrats on the pretext that the GOP philosophy had suddenly alienated him.

But Biden was taken in: not by a sharpie but a jerk who talked big…as always…and couldn’t deliver: the now vice president of the United States. He tells the 78-year-old power-lusting, tumescent Specter into changing parties with fantasy promises of how good it will be. (This is the second party change for Specter: starting off as a Democrat, then switching to the Republican for the Senate, now switching back to the Dems).

Result: Specter was conned—not by a sharpie at all but probably the most incompetent vice president since Thomas Marshall who declared that what this country needs is a good 5 cent cigar. Biden, as everyone knows…and certainly Specter should have…is a 14 carat flake, a serial exaggerator and blowhard as well as compulsive plagiarist who stole Neil Kinnock, a British politician’s resume in toto including Kinnock’s having worked in the coal fields in Wales, misinforming his agog audience that he, Biden, was the first of his family to go to college (wrong: both his parents had).

These lies were Biden’s fault: but there is something else that isn’t, something everyone in the Senate knows and which causes them to steer clear of him. For one thing, he has had two aneurisms of the brain. Ever since, there has been something frightening about Biden—his saying, for example, that FDR steadied the country after the 1929 crash by going on television and reassuring Americans that all would be all right. As everyone knew but the person he was talking to--Katie Couric who has as much historical grounding as a cabbage—Roosevelt wasn’t president and television had not been invented in 1929.

To his credit, Obama showed prescience in choosing Biden for veep: superb survival insurance since no one…even the most virulent Obama hater…would want to risk Biden in the Oval Office. A smirking rumor around the back corridors of Washington is that if something DID happen to Obama, the CIA has been instructed to rub out Biden at once.

Knowing all these things have happened, it’s a judgment on old Arlen that he listened to goofy Joe and allowed Biden to handle all the details. The zombie media properly hailed Specter’s conversion as one of principle. Later, when Biden told everybody he had advised his family to avoid public transportation because of the swine flu, “Newsweek” reported this gaffe was overshadowed by the vice president’s brilliant “conversion” of Specter. Hah!

Expounding like the fictional Vice President Alexander B. Throttlebottom in George George Gershwin’s Pulitizer-prize winning musical “Of Thee I Sing,” Biden told Specter he would have the same seniority as a Democrat that he had as a Republican. How Specter ever imagined that would happen is testament to his hardening cerebral arteries. As a Republican, Specter had the 12th most seniority in the chamber as a Republican-- and has been Judiciary and Intelligence chairman. How sweet it was to go on “Meet the Press” as questioners pondered which way he would vote.

Well, of course, anyone knowing Biden should have checked it out—but Specter didn’t. And evidently Obama thought Biden had worked it out with Harry Reid. Nope, he hadn’t. Then came a near revolution in the Democratic senate caucus. A gaggle of Democrats said they were not going to allow an instant convert…who earlier as a Republican had pledged to vote wrong on card-check and universal health care… to bump them and go ahead of them in the seniority line.

So now, Specter, a sadder but wiser sucker, having switched, finds that Biden had misled him and that he—Specter—will have to go to the end of the line and be a freshman again, after having served in the Senate since 1981. Because he listened to Biden, gone forever are the days when Specter as a Republican dominated much of the media by being the pivotal vote for lots of things: prattling on television as key Judiciary figure or Veterans Affairs figure or Intelligence expert. Those days are gone forever.

But another bordello deal is in the offing—and Specter has no choice but to surrender his remaining shredded reputation and accept. Debbie Stabenow, the Michigan Democrat and Reid, are holding aloft a Lucifer-like deal for Specter to reclaim some…only a tiny bit…of his lost seniority. If Specter changes his mind and recants his heresy and votes FOR card check and universal health care…and only then…he might just be able to reclaim some of his privileges. Not sure but maybe.

Well, knowing Specter as I do since he represented many of our plants in Pennsylvania, be assured he will certainly switch and become a lip-synch Dem certifying to all and to his constituency in Pennsylvania that he is a rudderless whore who will do anything and everything to keep his seat.

Increasingly, Specter’s switch has played badly in Pennsylvania: something the zombie media won’t report. As a Democrat he is running behind Tom Ridge, the ex-Republican governor in the general and is only a whisker ahead of Toomey. But alas, he has a very, very tough primary in his new-found Democratic party. A very popular Democratic House member Joe Sestak, 58, a retired three -star Navy admiral, has said he’s going to stay in and challenge Specter. In fact he may well beat him. Sestak is the highest ranking ex-serviceman ever to serve in Congress with a brilliant resume: graduating second in his class at Annapolis, having commanded the George Washington aircraft carrier battle group during combat in Afghanistan. After 9/11 he became the first director of “Deep Blue,” an anti-terrorism think tank in the Navy; with a Ph.D from Harvard and having held a major defense policy post with the National Security Council under Bill Clinton. Sestak has a 100% pro-labor voting record.

Now Obama is on the hook thanks to his vice president Throttlebottom…by having promised Specter publicly that he will campaign for Specter in 2010 which promise, if kept, will pit him against organized labor and the popula Sestak.

As a 100% political hireling Specter won’t think twice about it but his popularity ratings because of the switch are cascading in Pennsylvania: not that you will hear anything about this from the zombie media. No, they are still grousing about how “dumb” the Republican party is to risk losing this paragon of statesmanship: who let Joe Biden of all people sell him a pig in a poke.


  1. Thx Tom for always being a beacon of light in the darkness.

  2. Arlen Specter has less seniority than Roland Burris!