Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Personal Aside: Hillary Can’t Win the Nomination but She Might Have Fared Better than Obama Against McCain…Why Compare Sandi Jackson to Michelle—Because (Gasp!) She’s Black?



Hillary Clinton can’t win the nomination unless through an act of God, but something tells me that as a nominee she would be better than Barack Obama. Nowhere has the exotic, snob-appeal ivy league elitism of Obama who rivals John Kerry (remember his wind-surfing) been exploited more than by Bill Kristol in (God how they must hate to read his stuff there) “The New York Times.”

Obama is so much the drawing room candidate, the Franchot Tone if you will of the candidates—slim, wispy, a suave presence, no rough edges, typifying a generation that lends its patriotism to the world rather than to the nation. He is perfect for the role of the semi-white “Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner” protagonist, the kind of half-black, half-white guy with a Harvard law degree you’d not mind your daughter marrying…or even more so, the kind of guy you might want to scoop up your daughter. But wouldn’t you know he’s married to a Princeton undergrad and Harvard lawyer who so bitterly feels isolation of an African American in a world whitey made and to whom whitey is insufficiently patronizing?

Both of them feel patriotism is so-so provincial, so “Reader’s Digest,” not “Vanity Fair.” We must be patriotic for the world not one country. Anyhow have we eradicated poverty here to the extent that we should thrust out our chests? I think not! So to downplay that vulgar patriotism, Barack said that his removal of the American flag pin was a resolute gesture. “You know, the truth is that right after 9/11 I had a pin. Shortly after 9/11, particularly because as we’re talking about the Iraq War, that become a substitute for, I think, patriotism, which is speaking out on issues that are of importance to our national security, I decided I won’t wear that pinon my chest.” Parse that sentence for clarity, English majors. But you get the drift. He is so-so-so c-o-o-l not the vulgarians the Republicans are. Excluding Kirk Dillard, of course. (He’s going to be the next U. S. Attorney for Barack, that boy—but that’s another matter).

And who is this “Gentleman’s Quarterly” centerfold male model married to? Ah, Michelle Obama of course. There’s another bereft child of discrimination with a Princeton and Harvard education who feels so-so-so estranged from the white power structure. You earn $300,000 from whitey’s University of Chicago hospitals as a-a-a- what? Lobbyist, that’s it. Awful name. Anyhow you earn that and you feel estranged too.

Enough for you to say: “For the first time in my adult lifetime, I’m really proud of my country. And not because Barack has done well”—oh no-no-no, how vulgar to imagine! “…but because I think people are hungry for change.”

I’m telling you, friends, this stuffy elitism is going to be fun once it gets on the late-late TV shows as it will, even despite their political correctness. Maybe not Katie Couric but the later ones that people watch. All fodder for guffaws: the swooning women, the peach-fuzzed adolescents, the limp-wristed polyglots in a party where white males are 27%, the mal-educated grad students of which we are up to our asses in huddled masses yearning to breathe free. I’m telling you that long about mid-October the Dems will be slipping out of their upholstered seminars and wishing they had a tough talking Hillary rather than this honeyed-tongued poet of vaporous nuance.

E. A.: Here’s Why I Compare Sandi Jackson to Michelle Obama.

Because,…gasp!...both are…well…black? Sure! How racist of me, ! Because both are black, yes, both are women, both are friends, both are married to powerful politicians, both are Chicagoans, both are lawyers, both are one year apart in age, both are mothers. Who else would I compare Sandi to, Cindi McCain for God’s sake? Hattie McDaniel? Also look up your own definition of fulsome. You’ll find it has two meanings including mine. Not that definitions mean anything to me when I write. But do keep on writing me with your acerbic one sentence zingers.. We must meet. I can just draw a portrait of you in my mind. An attractive lady intellectual with reading glasses perched on her abundantly coiffed hair sipping at Starbucks. Right? An Obama fancier. Who thinks Cardinal George is a-a-a- saint. Garcon, another latte please!


  1. That's a telling reference to Franchot Tone. This seductive cad had the stuffing kicked out of him and ended up hospitalized when he and Tom Neal tangled over a woman.

    Tone also reportedly told another of his Hollywood wives, Mommy Dearest, herself, Joan Crawford, that he had to cheat during their marriage to prove to himself that he was still a man.

  2. elizabeth alexanderFebruary 26, 2008 at 3:51 AM

    You made me laugh. Anyone who makes me laugh can't be all bad. My morning is brighter.