DON’T WORRY—THE BIN LADEN PHOTOS WILL GET OUT, VIA THE BLACK MARKET…MITCH DANIELS MAKES HIS MOVE GUIDED BY DICK LUGAR.
Look at the Birdie, Osama! Q. You mean the controversy over Obama’s decision not to release the photos of the dead Bin Laden is a waste of time? A. Of course. The authentic photos of the mass murderer will be released in the time-honored American way through free enterprise. Somebody snitching them and after getting his palm greased sneaking them toReuters.Indeed, we’re told this has already happened. Q. Did you favor Obama’s clamping down on their release? A.To show you how cynical I am,yesif it prevents a dust-up that infuriates the Muslim street. But I know that we’ll get the pictures the old fashioned way so why worry? Mitch Daniels the Stealth Candidate. Q. What do you mean by stealth? A.It’s a put-on by our RINO friends to slip in a quasi-liberal who will be the fall guy for Obama. The slick job is being run surreptitiously by 79-year-old Dick Lugar which is appropriate. I dealt with both Lugar and Daniels years ago when I was a lobbyist for Quaker and our meetings increased after we bought Stokely-Van Camp in Indiana which owned Gatorade. It made pork and beans which we dumped, selling it to ConAgra. The thing about Lugar that always intrigued me…dating from the time he was Indianapolis’ boy mayor at the age of 35 and hailed as Dick Nixon’s Favorite Mayor until now…has been that he has been a master of ideological disguise—floating as a conservative who has a maddening way of swallowing his words, rolling them around in his saturnine mouth and allowing them to be emitted in such garbled fashion that nobody really knows what the hell he’s talking about. He has been the leading protagonist of the philosophy “when in doubt mumble.” So when I would try to hustle him for a vote and meet him off the Senate chamber he’d say:Well you must remember that glubniff…bochara…and when the vote comes up I necessarily will have to puffiff and for a time it might look like I’m not with you—but bluffough and balooka you’ll see that we’ll get it recommitted to the Committee where finally we’ll have a chance to plubinitff so you might be happy with it. Actually, dating from the days when he was a Rhodes Scholar Dick Lugar has always been with the liberals on all key items that matter…and next year the jig will be up for him. He’ll face a Tea Party that’s well on to him. With respect to Daniels, I dealt with him when he was Lugar’s staffer, when he was with Eli Lilly…heading its North American operations…running a marketing campaign that saved its product Prozac from assault by the Church of Scientology. He started as an intern to Lugar in the Indianapolis mayor’s office and the two are almost indistinguishable in the way they muffle their words and intentions. Lugar is a kind of surrogate spiritual father to Daniels. Q. Daniels is an expert in federal budgeting—no?—basis his head of OMB under George W. Bush where he got the moniker “My man Mitch”? A. He has all the demeanor and personality of a third-rung federal bureaucrat…probably a GS-16…with utterly no blazing conviction or passion. Utterly no view of how priorities should be reordered as Paul Ryan has demonstrated. No, Daniels is like his mentor Lugar. You see the problem with federal spending is blomoff…duhommana…and clontatarff… George Will, the bow-tied columnist who likes to impress with his masterly erudition which when examined boils down to very little….famed for informing us that the first instinct for consumerism started with the Norman Conquest of 1066…thinks Daniels is ducky because he is so dull in contrast to Obama—which makes George think he’s what the country needs now: unflashy. George introduced Daniels in a flowery speech at CPAC. Daniels is indebted to his mentor Lugar for leading him to eschew social issues so as to romance the country club…the country club never really understanding what Reagan meant when he said that the key to GOP national elections is a three-legged stool: fiscal integrity…emphasis on national defense…and social issues: pro-life etc. That has never been Lugar’s or Daniels’ way. They may support social issues privately in order to get their noses clean with conservatives but their heart and souls are with the pro-choice Establishment. Why is George Will so ga-ga over this balding, seedy-looking little Syrian extract who rides a motorcycle in order to seem one of the people? The trouble is that George is easily intimidated by numbers guys…as he was with David Stockman when he ran OMB. The trouble with Stockman…whom I knew very well since he was the top-staffer to John B. Anderson…was that David had no inner conviction. He could support John Connally for president as he did privately until Reagan offered him the job. There was a chasm of ideological difference between Connally and Reagan. Stockman could never be true to anyone and at the end when he savaged Reagan by consorting with a leftist journalist he showed his true colors—that of a charlatan. Q. But Mitch signed the Indiana bill depriving Planned Parenthood of state funding did he not? A. A necessary expedient. Q. Finally the columnist Sneed is quite taken with Joe Biden whom she labels a “devout Catholic” because he was fingering a compact rosary during the Navy Seal raid on the bin Laden compound. A. You have to understand that every liberal who is a Catholic is to Sneed “devout.” Ask Joe why he voted straight pro-abortion in the Senate if he’s such a devout Catholic. That fact never entered Sneed’s fluffy little gossiper’s head.