More Like the National Enquirer Every Day

What do the editor and publisher think you buy their newspaper for? To read about sex, obviously. At least when the two crooks ran the Sun-Times, it was less salacious. Take Laura Berman, for instance, its own certified sex therapist. She writes, “Touch can open up a whole new world for your relationship.” How many readers knew that? She’s opening up a whole new world for youngish readers, especially awkward male teens undergoing puberty. She’s a gifted rhetorician, too. “Have you ever had a truly magical kiss?...Touch sends `I love yous’ to our brains and relaxation [really!] to our bodies…Touch heightens the sensory experience during sex, too…Also experiment with textures like silk sheets or a faux fur blanket.” How about real fur? As Nixon used to say about matters entirely different: “But that would be wrong!” We can talk all we want about experimental touching, titillating and lascivious touching and the relaxation that follows release in a column touted indiscriminately to young kids but lay off the animal fur. You see, Berman has her own absolute.